Review: Fallout 4

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Fallout 4

This year has put me on the hype train long enough. I think that would be time for me to get off for a while and take a break.

Maybe take a nice long cold nap. Yeah. That’s exactly what I need. I’ll wake up and there’ll be a new fresh game for me get excited about. Maybe it will be different.

If you thought that there would be more of the same story or even if you thought there would be something nice and fresh for you to see when you woke up..let me just drop the bomb right now.

Welcome to Fallout 4.

With the fourth installment of the Fallout series, minus one of the better ones, Fallout: New Vegas, everyone should basically know the story at this point. But in case you’ve been in cryo state, here is a spoiler free version of the story.

The bombs are going to be falling and you have been specially picked not to have your body irradiated harder than a coffee enema after a college taco night. You are Character Created 111 and after some shit went down, you leave the vault and go explore.

Now that barebones story sounds pretty good, right? Sounds like a lot of good open exploration there, right? Well good, because like a sadistic partner, I am going to take away what you think you like and replace it something else because, “I know what’s better for you. I know what you really need.”

It sounds I am going to be giving the game an anal radiation cleaning and I am. But not before I talk about what I did actually like about the game.

I liked opening sequence of the game. Without spoilers, like the explanation of why I am in the vault better than the previous games. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy being born in there. That’s nice but it doesn’t show me how it got started. I needed that and was given that.

I liked the variety of the companions, especially my main companion, Nick Savage Valentine. Not only was this the best companion for my Scientist character, but the lack of speech options, I needed someone or thing in this case, to give those witty one liners and no synth fit the profile quite like Nick.

Because, I, the main character, couldn’t ROLE PLAY very much in my ROLE PLAYING GAME. Such a shame that you can’t do that very well in a RPG, huh? But let’s move on…

I liked, a little, the settlement construction part. Personally, I don’t think that the game needed it but it was a nice touch. The ability to make the whatever kind of settlement you want is pretty cool. And the crafting was so-so. Once again, I didn’t think that the Fallout series need crafting but after coming back from my mine to smelt some diamonds for my pickaxe….

Oops. Wrong game. How could I have made that mistake….

And now to get to the mole rat meat of the issue; everything I didn’t like about this game.

I hate the fact that Fallout 4 has gone through the “wheel of conversation” route when it comes to dialogue choices. Basically, I get to choose from “More Info”, “Yes”, “No”, and sarcasm.

Man, those are some good tasty choices! It makes so much sense that my character of not even average intelligence would say something sarcastic. I thought you would have to be at least average intelligence for something like that but if Donald Trump can do it, then I guess anyone can.

I hate the fact that the difficulty of the game has been shot down harder than common sense on Tumblr most of the time.

“But Mr. Gamer, you can just turn up the difficulty of the game when you want to”

Billy, shut your face hole. That is not the point. I expected the base level difficulty of what I have gotten from the previous fallout games, not bucking Power Armor only minutes after I leave the vault.

“But that’s not even the best armor!”

Billy, I swear to Kratos. Shut it.

Do you know how easy the game gets walking around like a titan of fuck-your-shit-up? Aside from the weapons, that never wear by the way (because that makes sense), that’s the game folks. Find your cores, and cut people down with an axe because the melee in this game is broken worse than the economy.

You want easy mode for Fallout 4? 10 Strength, 10 Endurance, fuck the other stats. Done. Oh, and don’t worry about the Deathclaws. That why the Overseer created V.A.T.S.

And if you got this game on PC. I’m sorry. Not BP oil spill sorry. Like, legitimately sorry. I did too. You are not alone.

Fallout 4: Stuffing a Fat Man with a molotov and a frag grenade and calling it a nuke.

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